Sushi Fail – Dec. 28, 2013. (***So now I knew that I should combine rice vinegar and sugar so that the sushi rice won’t taste bland and I can put the kani on top of the almost-cooked rice. I also realized that it’s better to use a bamboo mat than a sushi mold. )
Nothing interesting has ever happened to me in the kitchen except of those times when I saw how horrified my brothers were when they tasted a specialty weird meal by a trying-hard-world-class gourmet like me. While my dad would always eat what I cook whether it’s sinigang na paksiw or tilapiang bitter, my brothers would mock me forever.
Those kitchen moments seemed like ages ago. Ugh, I feel so old…
I miss ’em.
Back in the days when I was younger and pathetic, I was so obsessed in meeting the only guy who made sense in MIRC and who have read one of my most loved novels by F. Sionil Jose. So when I happened to chat with someone who knew the author, I made myself believe that it was him, even though I knew it really wasn’t him. So we texted and decided to meet up in a mall somewhere. It was a really stupid idea but I was bored and curious.
We decided to meet in front of a bookstore where all other EBs happened. It was in the ground floor and I was in the second, eyeing people like a lunatic. I was so scared and paranoid, I almost tripped in the escalator. It took me forever before I decided to approach the much older guy who was wearing the polo shirt my textmate described. He was okay. He wasn’t ugly but heck he was insatiable. When he held my hands and tried to pull me closer, I wanted to run away as fast I could…Ugh, just the thought of it still makes me cringe. Anyway, after the longest dinner in my life ever, I made an excuse and peaced out.
We have a neighbor who’s a meth addict (that’s what people say). He’s in his 40’s I guess, with 4 or 5 kids. He and his wife are too loud most of the time that I couldn’t sleep. Whenever I’d go to work at night and pass by their house while he’s smoking cigarette or just standing by their door, he’d always look down and step aside.
I wonder if he and his wife are just gonna die like that. I know how meth have ruined thousands of lives but maybe if their families would just try to reach out to them once more, show them love and send them to something like AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) here, maybe they still have a chance to recover their lives. I don’t know. I just don’t believe that there’s 0% hope for drug addicts.
There are times when I think about losing all my memories. Am I going to be a better me then? I have kept journals and mementos from the past and I wonder what would be my reaction reading/seeing my life from a memory-devoid persona. I can imagine myself saying “Why haven’t I tried this and that? Why am I always late? So I’m still a ____? Did I live? Did I love? Did I matter?” Just a random crazy thought during one of my idle days.
Anyway, today, I have to write about inanimate object that’s important to me and I can’t think of anything else but my laptop and photographs.
I have this 5-year old laptop that I bought in Gilmore with my bro. It has an i3 processor, 3GB RAM, 64-bit OS, with a NVIDIA GEForce 310M 1GB graphics card. Though the battery needs to be replaced, neo’s performance is still pretty good (or am I just being too attached?).
When my laptop’s original hard drive crashed last year, I almost lost my sanity. Of course I’m exaggerating but you know that feeling when you have half of your life saved in one effin’ hard drive?
Lesson learned: Always make a back up!
Camera and photograph is a marvelous invention. It’s really amazing how a gadget can capture bits and pieces of your life and put it in a photograph. Your first birthday, that toothless smile, an awkward family pic, your mom, dad, grannies, your first kiss, prom night, wedding, friends…Those captured moments are irreplaceable, a treasure worth keeping.
I remember, there’s this one photograph of me and my dad while we’re eating halo-halo in Intramuros, that was a humid Sunday afternoon when we accidentally met near Manila Post Office and decided to eat halo-halo nearby. After that, we went inside the Manila Cathedral and just stood there and prayed and marveled around the cathedral’s beauty. It was the very first time (in my memory) that my dad and I prayed together. I wish I have saved that photo somewhere else but it was in my busted hard drive so now it’s just in my memory.
But of course I can still make new memories and photographs with my dad. We can always make new memories…as long as our loved ones are here to smile and say cheese at the count of three.
“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory” – Dr. Seuss
I wish I could write a Noble Peace Prize kind of piece for my Dad…But, I’m not that much of a writer.
So I’d just write what I want to tell the world about him…
My dad is not perfect.
He’s not that kind of father who’d play with kids or would go to church with his family every Sunday. We never went out to the park to play catch or stayed home to play video games when I was a kid. He never gave me advice on how to deal with heartaches and insecurities or what not. In fact, I grew up not seeing him at home 24×7.
But he’d always come running whenever I need him.
He fights for us.
He fought to be with us when my grandma kicked him out of the house. He fought to feed us and give us good education. He fought to save my mom’s life. He fought to raise us alone…he fought…even with worn-out shoes.
He loves us more than he loves himself.
My dad is not perfect. Heck, he’s not. But he’s still the best dad in the world.
I haven’t been seeing chick flicks in a while so just to forget about my crazy world for an hour, I decided to watch 5 to 7. A friend posted a quote from it which quite got me so I searched and watched it.
The movie is about an aspiring writer who gets into a relationship with a married woman. One catch though, they can only meet between 5 and 7 in the evening.
I like the idea of perfect love shown in the movie. That perfect moment when time suddenly stops and then there’s just you and that person. That nervousness which makes your heart beat like 50x faster. That incredible joy when you talk to each other. And that amazing sensation when that person holds you…Of course it’s a movie-kind of love, romantic. If that’s how perfect it is in REAL life, I am not quite sure. I’ve never felt that for real. Or maybe I have but then life taught me that fickle emotion doesn’t last.
Arielle: Maybe there are some people you marry and people you love.
Life shouldn’t be that complicated isn’t it? Sometimes it’s amazing to see the world in a different perspective but at some point you got to make a choice. Where would you want to go from where you are? You can either be happy or miserable.
Arielle: They say that no love is perfect but then, they never met you.
I still like the idea of that kind of love that never grows old. Like even when you’re both old and wrinkly and can’t have sex anymore, you’d still feel happy waking up beside each other.
In celebration of the Dalai Lama’s 80th birthday, journalist Ann Curry asked him, “What would you like to say to the social media world, especially to the young people?”
-Source: Friends of the Dalai Lama
“Pay more attention to your own mind, your emotion…so that your life can be more peaceful, [more] happier…if you pay attention to your inner value, no matter what is the surrounding situation, you can keep peace of mind.”
“…constant fear and anger is actually eating our immune system…In order to achieve healthy body we also need healthy mind.”
-Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso
How can you not be angry if you’re always being pushed to your limits? Or how can you be compassionate to a grumpy stranger or a backstabber friend?
I think mastering your emotion is one of the hardest thing to do but taking it from the Guru, it is possible.
This is definitely easier said than done but if compassion brings forth inner peace and strength and good relationship, KEEP CALM and SHAKE IT OFF.